free, as other folk, to look up as well as down

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

[cazort]

I am always happy to find one of these dual flush toilets in a public restroom. This one was in a gender-neutral restroom in a restaurant.

The basic idea is that there are two buttons: one just uses a small amount of water, for “number one” and then if you need more water for “number two” you hit the other button. Because people don’t need that extra water most of the time, it saves a huge amount of water. They are only marginally more expensive than normal toilets and probably pay for themselves in water costs for toilets that get good amounts of regular use.

I really want to see these be the norm, i.e. see all new toilets installed have this setup. It would save a huge amount of water. Water conservation isn’t a huge issue where I live; this area has abundant water, but many parts of the U.S. (and the world) like the arid southwestern U.S., have serious issues with water use, and even here, they do save a significant amount of resources and money.

[roseapprentice]

There’s a style of toilet that seems to be becoming super common that’s a subtler version of this. (It was installed in my last apartment during my stay, and will eventually be installed on my floor at my new place, without any input from me in picking it.)

It flushes using half the water in the tank if you push the handle down briefly, and uses all the water in the tank if you hold it down for a second or two. I really like it because I don’t even have to think about it – my hand automatically picks the appropriate motion for the situation.

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

[roseapprentice]

Welp, I missed an antidepressant dose today and I’m PMS-ing, so you know what that means…

IT’S TIME TO CRY PITEOUSLY AT EVERY SLIGHT INCONVENIENCE!!! YAY!!!!

[roseapprentice]

Wait, nevermind. The minor inconvenience has been fixed because everyone in my family is ridiculously kind!

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

Welp, I missed an antidepressant dose today and I’m PMS-ing, so you know what that means…

IT’S TIME TO CRY PITEOUSLY AT EVERY SLIGHT INCONVENIENCE!!! YAY!!!!

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

[acemindbreaker]

He/him lesbians

OK, so I’ve been hearing a lot of discourse about he/him lesbians. And I should make it clear that I 100% respect your right to describe your gender and orientation in whatever terms suit you best, even if it seems contradictory to others.

But I haven’t actually heard from any he/him lesbians themselves about how they feel and why they use both the label lesbian and the pronouns he/him.

I find people with seemingly contradictory labels interesting, because they often illustrate intriguing edge cases and unique experiences of the relevant identities. And I would love to hear from some he/him lesbians!

[cazort]

reblogging to make it more likely that this post will reach people to get back to the OP. i’d love to hear your perspectives too so please add commentary in a reblog if you’d like.

[roseapprentice]

@gatointhehat, any thoughts?

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

Want to pay as much as you would for a pre-cooked meal, but still have to cook the meal yourself? Then sign up for Blue Apron Or One Of Its Knockoffs today!

(Yes I know it’s a good idea if you have money and want to cook. But advertisers talk about it like it’s a cost-cutting strategy and… what.)

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

I’ve Come To Believe that Brainwashing is a Fairly Simple 2-Step Process

[roseapprentice]

And I’m speaking here as someone who’s watched way too many documentaries about cult survivors for my own good. And then I’ve also done a fair amount of armature studying of how language patterns impact people’s thinking.

I think it’s weird that people debate whether brainwashing exists, because it seems like a prevalent and distinct phenomenon from what I’ve seen? Anyway.

STEP (1): Teach your victim to use dismissive labels to reject any lines of reasoning you want them to avoid.

(Note: It’s not brainwashing yet if you only do step one! Step one on its own is normal and useful.)

• So to start brainwashing someone into a religious philosophy, you might label doubts as “temptation.”
  
• For an atheistic philosophy, you might use labels like “irrationality” or “superstition.”
  
• Conservative philosophy? “pipe dream” or “propaganda”
  
• Liberal philosophy? “heartlessness” or “sexism”
  

All of these labels are names of things that legitimately exist.

…and each one can be a legitimate reason to dismiss a passing thought.

Heck, this is actually a really useful method of combating thought distortions in CBT! (Which can make you more resistant to brainwashing.)

Brainwashing (–I think–) means getting someone to deflect a line of thought so consistently that they become unable to understand the thought, where they might have understood it before.

Which brings us to step 2.

STEP (2): Convince your victim that it is SHAMEFUL to seriously weigh any thought that fits under your dismissive labels.

(I’m gonna use the “sexism” example because I’m female and I consider myself a feminist. Seems like the safest route.)

Someone who ISN’T brainwashed might dismiss an idea as “sexism” 19 times out of 20.

But the 20th time, they’re likely to sit down and ask themselves whether the “sexist” idea might really be true. And whether the idea is actually sexist.

The BRAINWASHED person will think,

“If I let myself think sexist thoughts, then I’ll be a bad person, and I’ll deserve to be hated. I can’t ever let myself think those thoughts.”

And they’ll never understand the idea they’re dismissing, even if it keeps occurring to them.

-

That seems to be the core mechanism. There are lots of things that make brainwashing EASIER, and those are more the common stereotypes of brainwashing: Charisma, authority, sleep deprivation, isolation, concentrated periods of abuse, sensory experiences geared toward hypnosis or feelings of transcendence, etc.

In my mind, these are all ways to lay the groundwork for the verbal mechanism, but that might partly be everything-looks-like-a-nail syndrome.

One final thought:

Brainwashing and truth aren’t mutually exclusive. It’s totally possible that you’ve been brainwashed into believing something true and important.

(Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you, etc.)

But even if you’ve been brainwashed into a philosophy that’s 100% good, the method has done you harm. Your belief system is now controlled by shame or fear rather than reasoning.

So it’s now very easy for the people you’re listening to to convince you of illogical and harmful things.

If the things you believe are true, then questioning them cautiously won’t make you stop thinking them.

It might make you realize that you don’t have enough information to be as certain as you are now. But it won’t reverse your opinion, and it won’t make you into a bad person.

This has been a 2-step guide to brainwashing. Don’t try it at home. Or anywhere else.

[roseapprentice]

Counterargument that I thought of after posting this: the Netflix movie “The Push.”

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

I’ve Come To Believe that Brainwashing is a Fairly Simple 2-Step Process

And I’m speaking here as someone who’s watched way too many documentaries about cult survivors for my own good. And then I’ve also done a fair amount of armature studying of how language patterns impact people’s thinking.

I think it’s weird that people debate whether brainwashing exists, because it seems like a prevalent and distinct phenomenon from what I’ve seen? Anyway.

STEP (1): Teach your victim to use dismissive labels to reject any lines of reasoning you want them to avoid.

(Note: It’s not brainwashing yet if you only do step one! Step one on its own is normal and useful.)

• So to start brainwashing someone into a religious philosophy, you might label doubts as “temptation.”
  
• For an atheistic philosophy, you might use labels like “irrationality” or “superstition.”
  
• Conservative philosophy? “pipe dream” or “propaganda”
  
• Liberal philosophy? “heartlessness” or “sexism”
  

All of these labels are names of things that legitimately exist.

…and each one can be a legitimate reason to dismiss a passing thought.

Heck, this is actually a really useful method of combating thought distortions in CBT! (Which can make you more resistant to brainwashing.)

Brainwashing (–I think–) means getting someone to deflect a line of thought so consistently that they become unable to understand the thought, where they might have understood it before.

Which brings us to step 2.

STEP (2): Convince your victim that it is SHAMEFUL to seriously weigh any thought that fits under your dismissive labels.

(I’m gonna use the “sexism” example because I’m female and I consider myself a feminist. Seems like the safest route.)

Someone who ISN’T brainwashed might dismiss an idea as “sexism” 19 times out of 20.

But the 20th time, they’re likely to sit down and ask themselves whether the “sexist” idea might really be true. And whether the idea is actually sexist.

The BRAINWASHED person will think,

“If I let myself think sexist thoughts, then I’ll be a bad person, and I’ll deserve to be hated. I can’t ever let myself think those thoughts.”

And they’ll never understand the idea they’re dismissing, even if it keeps occurring to them.

-

That seems to be the core mechanism. There are lots of things that make brainwashing EASIER, and those are more the common stereotypes of brainwashing: Charisma, authority, sleep deprivation, isolation, concentrated periods of abuse, sensory experiences geared toward hypnosis or feelings of transcendence, etc.

In my mind, these are all ways to lay the groundwork for the verbal mechanism, but that might partly be everything-looks-like-a-nail syndrome.

One final thought:

Brainwashing and truth aren’t mutually exclusive. It’s totally possible that you’ve been brainwashed into believing something true and important.

(Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you, etc.)

But even if you’ve been brainwashed into a philosophy that’s 100% good, the method has done you harm. Your belief system is now controlled by shame or fear rather than reasoning.

So it’s now very easy for the people you’re listening to to convince you of illogical and harmful things.

If the things you believe are true, then questioning them cautiously won’t make you stop thinking them.

It might make you realize that you don’t have enough information to be as certain as you are now. But it won’t reverse your opinion, and it won’t make you into a bad person.

This has been a 2-step guide to brainwashing. Don’t try it at home. Or anywhere else.

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

I messaged an acquaintance today like “hey I’m probably overreacting but I’d consider it a favor if you’d read this article I’m linking to about signs that you may be in a cult. I will totally trust your judgement if you say that it doesn’t fit.”

And then I was waiting for a reply biting my nails like, Either she’s gonna be super pissed off, or she’s gonna be like “lol no” and then I’ll feel really silly. Which is it gonna be? aaa!

I totally failed to brace for what actually happened (which I should have expected as the most obvious reply).

Acquaintance: “[Leader of movement] is concerned about you that you would say that. It is evil to say that.”

Me: Well, shit.

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

[ex-depressed]

fear is real - the stories it tells you are not.

You’re allowed to be angry - you’re not allowed to cause harm.

You are allowed to grieve - but you have to keep trying to move on.

Its not your fault - but it is now your responsibility.

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

I’m so glad I know now that “shut-down”-type anxiety attacks are a thing.

Like now I know what’s going on, and I can be like, “Okay, excuse me while I go have a very quiet anxiety attack,” and I can go to my room and let the curl up into a ball and freeze stress response run its course.

Like before they were worse than the other kind, because I didn’t know what was going on and by the time I could tell I was having a real problem I’d be nonverbal and have no way to communicate to the people around me that I was distressed or what to about it.

But now that I know what to do about it, they’re actually much more tolerable than the other kind of anxiety attack.

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

what?

that

when?

then

where?

there

whom?

um… them?

why?

thy. thus. no, wait. what is hapPENING?!!

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

[rhymewithrachel]

there’s a special place in my heart for tabloids that are straight up slander

[thecastingcircle]

It all makes sense now… Iron Man and Spiderman both have the same last name…….

[rhymewithrachel]

the proof is out there

[crescenteluce]

Rhodes tells all is my absolute fave part bci love the idea of rhodey eating a pizza on the couch in avengers tower, taking revenge on tony for screwing with his suit, TMZ on speaker, going: ‘ya, the kid’s his son [chewing] who’s the mother? [more chewing] uhhh black widow [chewing] they’re both spiders, you see. [taking a sip from his soda] why it didn’t work out? well, tony cheated on her with uhhh [steve walks in, waves at rhodey] with captain america. yeah it was very bad for team morale.’ 

[elphierix]

rhodey WOULD

[roseapprentice]

Oh man with the spider-man thing I honest to god co-wrote a fic with almost the same headline in a serious paper it’s called And When It Does I’m Already Gone, it’s pretty good. (Wrote it before spider-man entered the MCU)

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

[lindsaychrist]

i put jergens natural glow on one part of my arm to see what would happen and now i regret it

[strawberryzachary]

Wow she really needs to shave her legs

[lindsaychrist]

im a fucking man #whyineedfeminism

[gabriella13702]

I just need whatever u put on your arm… I don’t tan at all… Ever.

[lindsaychrist]

i literally said what it was

[troyesivan]

this post is such a fucking mess

[prestoflauto]

Is no one going to talk about the perfect rectanglular shape this thing makes on her arm

[lindsaychrist]

i literally said i was a man already why is this still happening

[roseapprentice]

my first reaction was: i don’t understand why does this being a man automatically mean the shape will be perfect and rectangular

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

[free, as other folk, to look up as well as down]

Some Things About Abuse and Love

[cazort]

You can love someone who acts abusively towards you or others.

You can care about someone, and still not want to interact with them at all.

Your love for someone and concern for their well-being is not an endorsement or approval of all their actions.

You can care about a person but still be assertive at protecting yourself and/or others from abuse.

Tolerance or acceptance or facilitation of abuse, is not love.

The idea that asserting your boundaries, calling someone out on abusive behavior, trying to stop abusive behavior, means you doesn’t love someone, can itself be a form, type, or tool of abuse. Separating these things can be a form of self-love and protecting yourself from abuse.

All that said, you have no obligation to love. Neither people who abuse you, nor those who only treat you well.